#6 The difference between force and power: Why most women are chasing the wrong thing
What if everything you've been taught about female empowerment is keeping you from your true strength?
We live in a world that sells women a very specific version of power. Lean in harder. Be louder. Out-compete everyone. Adopt masculine strategies. Push through. Hustle more. Prove your worth through endless doing.
And so many of us have tried. We've muscled our way through challenges. We've made ourselves smaller and sharper to fit into systems built for a different kind of energy. We've learned to speak over others, to be aggressive in negotiations, to show no vulnerability.
Yet somehow, at the end of all that striving, we still feel... powerless.
That's because we've been chasing force, not power.
The fundamental misunderstanding
Primal feminine power has nothing to do with becoming aggressive or adopting masculine strategies. It has nothing to do with force, dominance, or control. Those are compensations, ways we try to feel powerful when we're disconnected from our true strength.
Real feminine power is magnetic, not forceful. It draws rather than pushes. It knows rather than analyzes. It flows like water around obstacles while slowly wearing down mountains. Think ocean energy. Vast, deep, and capable of incredible strength when needed, yet fluid and life-giving in its essence.
And once you understand this distinction, your whole approach to life shifts.
What real power looks like
When you're connected to your primal power (the ancient, instinctual, utterly feminine energy that lives in your body), here's what shows up:
Unshakeable inner knowing, even when you can't explain why. You make decisions with a certainty that comes from somewhere deeper than logic. You know when a situation is right or wrong for you before your mind has finished analyzing it. Your gut speaks first, your brain catches up later.
The ability to remain centered in chaos while others lose themselves. When everyone around you is reactive and scattered, you're the still point. You're not suppressing your emotions or white-knuckling through the storm. You're rooted.
Creative flow that births new ideas, projects, and possibilities. This has nothing to do with the forced creativity of staring at a blank page willing brilliance to appear. This is the organic unfolding of life energy expressing itself through you. The ideas just... arrive.
Protective instincts that activate when your values or loved ones are threatened. This is the mama bear energy. Fierce, clear, and non-negotiable. Not aggressive, but absolutely unwavering. The kind of energy that makes people reconsider their life choices when they cross your boundaries.
Magnetic presence that draws opportunities and people aligned with your truth. You stop chasing and start attracting. You stop convincing and start inspiring. You stop striving and start being, and somehow that's when everything clicks into place.
Intuitive wisdom that sees beyond what's visible on the surface. You read energy, sense patterns, and know things that logic alone could never tell you. You walk into a room and immediately know who's lying, who's hurting, and who's about to cause drama. (Yes, it's occasionally exhausting at parties.)
Emotional depth and resilience that can weather any storm. You feel everything fully without being destroyed by it. Your capacity to hold complexity grows stronger. You cry, you rage, you grieve, and then you get up and keep going because your emotional range is vast.
The force trap
Force is what we rely on when we're disconnected from this deeper power and trying to compensate. Force is exhausting. It requires constant effort, vigilance, and energy output. It creates resistance and pushback. It burns you out and leaves you wondering why you're so tired when you're "doing everything right."
Think about the difference:
Force says: "I need to make this happen through sheer willpower."
Power says: "I move toward what's aligned and let go of what isn't."
Force says: "I have to prove myself to everyone."
Power says: "I know my worth, and I move accordingly."
Force says: "I need to control every outcome."
Power says: "I influence what I can and trust the process."
Force says: "I must be perfect to matter."
Power says: "My humanity is part of my strength."
Force operates from fear. Fear of not being enough, of being left behind, of not mattering. It's the energy of scarcity. It's also the energy of 3am panic spirals and trying to respond to seventeen emails while sitting in traffic.
Power operates from fullness. From a deep well of self-trust, inner knowing, and connection to the vastness of life itself. It's the energy of abundance. And yes, it still has 3am moments, but they look more like sudden creative downloads than existential dread.
Why this matters now
Many of us were raised to believe that our power was dangerous, too much, or needed to be controlled. We learned early to override our instincts, question our inner knowing, and dim our natural intensity. We were told that being accommodating, predictable, and small was the path to safety and acceptance.
We adapted. We learned to operate from force because authentic power wasn't modeled for us, or was actively discouraged. ("Stop being so dramatic." "Don't be so sensitive." "Calm down." Does it sound familiar? Of course it does.)
But here's what I know for certain: your primal power never left. It's been pulsing beneath the surface, waiting for permission to emerge. Every time you've felt that flutter of knowing in your belly, every moment you've stood up for what matters to you, every instance where you've trusted your intuition over logic, that was your primal power breaking through the conditioning.
What changes when you understand this
When you stop trying to force outcomes and instead connect with your deeper power, everything shifts:
You stop seeking validation from others because you're sourced from within.
You stop tolerating situations that drain you because your inner knowing is louder than your people-pleasing.
You stop hiding your intensity because you understand it's the essence of who you are.
You begin to move through the world with a different kind of confidence. Not the bravado of someone trying to convince themselves they're powerful, but the quiet certainty of someone who knows they are.
Your nervous system settles into natural authority. Your body shifts from enemy to trusted ally (turns out she's been trying to help you this whole time). Your intuition shifts into your primary navigation system. Your creativity flows from a well that never runs dry.
Most importantly, you claim your right to take up space, and you finally understand that your full presence matters deeply.
The invitation
If you've been exhausting yourself trying to be powerful in ways that don't feel authentic, if you've been forcing outcomes and wondering why you still feel depleted, if you suspect there's a different way to move through the world... you're right.
There is another way, and you don't need to learn anything new. This is a path that leads toward remembering. Your own ancient knowing that lives in your bones, in your blood, in the deepest layers of your being.
Your primal power is calling. Yes, the world has sold you a manufactured, diluted version of feminine power. But the real thing (the magnetic, intuitive, creative, protective strength) is your birthright as a woman.
The question is: Will you own it?
Reclaim your primal power
If this resonates with you, I invite you to explore my complete Embodied Guide #1: Your Primal Power Rising. Inside, you'll discover:
○ The 5 Gateways to accessing your primal power
○ Daily embodiment practices to strengthen your connection
○ Emergency protocols for when you feel powerless
○ How to live from this power in relationships, work, and creativity
○ Month-long practices and integration tools
It's a beautiful path that leads to you fully inhabiting yourself.
Download Your Primal Power Rising and begin your journey home to your authentic strength.
